I stood at the gate of Pravda Orphanage for the very first time, watching children flood out to hug Annie.  My dear friend is practically royalty at that place... the kids just love her!  None of the children knew me yet and so I stood on the outskirts of the crowd, just observing quietly.

After the first wave of children had emerged from the gate, I noticed one boy slink up quietly and just watch the other kids from the inside of the iron fence.  He was strikingly beautiful... the way boys can be beautiful.  His eyes were piercing: deep brown under thick, sharp eyebrows.  His jaw was set in a strong line, framing his face in perfect angles.  His gaze caught mine but when I smiled, his frown deepened and he looked away.



"That is Ruslan,"  Annie said to me under her breath, "he doesn't let people in too easily."

"Apparently not,"  I thought, my eyes still transfixed in his direction.

Fast forward a couple of weeks to the first day of camp.  I was assigned to be one of the counselors to the seventh and eighth grade classes - including beautiful Ruslan.  I hoped that maybe the fact that he was in my group would make him automatically like me.  No such luck.  For the first two to three days of camp, I couldn't even get Ruslan to look me in the eyes.

Finally, on the fourth morning I had had enough.  I desperately wanted to get to know Ruslan, and for him to be freed from the walls he had built up around himself.  It was eight o'clock, time to wake the kids up for the day.  I walked in to my boys' room and woke Ruslan up first with a kiss on the forehead.  He sleepily opened his eyes and I smiled, "Good morning, Ruslan."  Before he had a chance to choose to ignore me or smile back, I moved on to the next bed, waking the children up one by one.

Later that day at our group meeting, I caught Ruslan's gaze... and he smiled.  Somehow, he was beginning to let me in.

Throughout the rest of camp, I made a very conscious effort to show consistent attention and love to Ruslan - and we continued to bond, to laugh, and smile together.

But I was so curious as to why Ruslan, and many of the kids at Pravda, just seem to seal themselves off from relationships and harden their hearts towards those who want to love them.  Annie and I had a great conversation about it and she explained a lot to me.

"He has learned to close off his heart as a defense... he doesn't want to trust.  This is the biggest battle we have in our ministry with these kids.  Past experiences have taught them not to trust and that people are only going to cause hurt and pain in their lives.  They struggle to ever form true attachments, trust people, and even to trust themselves.  In the end, we are built as humans to be in relationship with others.  God is a God of relationship and he has created us to function and thrive through them.  Because these children struggle deeply with trust and forming relationships, it causes huge hurdles and repercussions in their lives as they grow up.  It doesn't allow them to function as human beings were meant to, and that really damages their futures from the start."

It's easy to think in an abstract way of orphans being "sad" that they don't have families.  But what's difficult is imagining the real consequences that these children face as a result of not developing crucial skills at a young age; skills as basic as forming relationships. 

The beauty of what Open Arms is doing is not skin deep.  Showing unconditional, passionate, and consistent love to the orphans of Ukraine is not just about making kids feel special (although it definitely is about that), it's also about making an effort to heal the deep woulds that have marred their hearts.  It's about teaching kids like Ruslan to trust, to let people into their lives, and to love others. 

It's like the saying goes,

If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

In the case of working with orphans, this principle applies.  It's wonderful to show love to these children and to make them feel special, but it's crucial to be consistent in their lives and to therefore teach them what real relationships look like.  This is what Open Arms is striving to do.

I only got to spend 10 days with Ruslan, but I can see that the work of Annie, Melissa, and Anika (the Open Arms team) is doing big things in his life.  Those walls that Ruslan had built up all around him are slowly breaking down.