I stood at the gate of Pravda Orphanage for the very first time, watching children flood out to hug Annie. My dear friend is practically royalty at that place... the kids just love her! None of the children knew me yet and so I stood on the outskirts of the crowd, just observing quietly.
After the first wave of children had emerged from the gate, I noticed one boy slink up quietly and just watch the other kids from the inside of the iron fence. He was strikingly beautiful... the way boys can be beautiful. His eyes were piercing: deep brown under thick, sharp eyebrows. His jaw was set in a strong line, framing his face in perfect angles. His gaze caught mine but when I smiled, his frown deepened and he looked away.
"That is Ruslan," Annie said to me under her breath, "he doesn't let people in too easily."
"Apparently not," I thought, my eyes still transfixed in his direction.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to the first day of camp. I was assigned to be one of the counselors to the seventh and eighth grade classes - including beautiful Ruslan. I hoped that maybe the fact that he was in my group would make him automatically like me. No such luck. For the first two to three days of camp, I couldn't even get Ruslan to look me in the eyes.
Finally, on the fourth morning I had had enough. I desperately wanted to get to know Ruslan, and for him to be freed from the walls he had built up around himself. It was eight o'clock, time to wake the kids up for the day. I walked in to my boys' room and woke Ruslan up first with a kiss on the forehead. He sleepily opened his eyes and I smiled, "Good morning, Ruslan." Before he had a chance to choose to ignore me or smile back, I moved on to the next bed, waking the children up one by one.
Later that day at our group meeting, I caught Ruslan's gaze... and he smiled. Somehow, he was beginning to let me in.
Throughout the rest of camp, I made a very conscious effort to show consistent attention and love to Ruslan - and we continued to bond, to laugh, and smile together.
But I was so curious as to why Ruslan, and many of the kids at Pravda, just seem to seal themselves off from relationships and harden their hearts towards those who want to love them. Annie and I had a great conversation about it and she explained a lot to me.
"He has learned to close off his heart as a defense... he doesn't want to trust. This is the biggest battle we have in our ministry with these kids. Past experiences have taught them not to trust and that people are only going to cause hurt and pain in their lives. They struggle to ever form true attachments, trust people, and even to trust themselves. In the end, we are built as humans to be in relationship with others. God is a God of relationship and he has created us to function and thrive through them. Because these children struggle deeply with trust and forming relationships, it causes huge hurdles and repercussions in their lives as they grow up. It doesn't allow them to function as human beings were meant to, and that really damages their futures from the start."
It's easy to think in an abstract way of orphans being "sad" that they don't have families. But what's difficult is imagining the real consequences that these children face as a result of not developing crucial skills at a young age; skills as basic as forming relationships.
The beauty of what Open Arms is doing is not skin deep. Showing unconditional, passionate, and consistent love to the orphans of Ukraine is not just about making kids feel special (although it definitely is about that), it's also about making an effort to heal the deep woulds that have marred their hearts. It's about teaching kids like Ruslan to trust, to let people into their lives, and to love others.
It's like the saying goes,
If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.
In the case of working with orphans, this principle applies. It's wonderful to show love to these children and to make them feel special, but it's crucial to be consistent in their lives and to therefore teach them what real relationships look like. This is what Open Arms is striving to do.
I only got to spend 10 days with Ruslan, but I can see that the work of Annie, Melissa, and Anika (the Open Arms team) is doing big things in his life. Those walls that Ruslan had built up all around him are slowly breaking down.
After the first wave of children had emerged from the gate, I noticed one boy slink up quietly and just watch the other kids from the inside of the iron fence. He was strikingly beautiful... the way boys can be beautiful. His eyes were piercing: deep brown under thick, sharp eyebrows. His jaw was set in a strong line, framing his face in perfect angles. His gaze caught mine but when I smiled, his frown deepened and he looked away.
"That is Ruslan," Annie said to me under her breath, "he doesn't let people in too easily."
"Apparently not," I thought, my eyes still transfixed in his direction.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to the first day of camp. I was assigned to be one of the counselors to the seventh and eighth grade classes - including beautiful Ruslan. I hoped that maybe the fact that he was in my group would make him automatically like me. No such luck. For the first two to three days of camp, I couldn't even get Ruslan to look me in the eyes.
Finally, on the fourth morning I had had enough. I desperately wanted to get to know Ruslan, and for him to be freed from the walls he had built up around himself. It was eight o'clock, time to wake the kids up for the day. I walked in to my boys' room and woke Ruslan up first with a kiss on the forehead. He sleepily opened his eyes and I smiled, "Good morning, Ruslan." Before he had a chance to choose to ignore me or smile back, I moved on to the next bed, waking the children up one by one.
Later that day at our group meeting, I caught Ruslan's gaze... and he smiled. Somehow, he was beginning to let me in.
Throughout the rest of camp, I made a very conscious effort to show consistent attention and love to Ruslan - and we continued to bond, to laugh, and smile together.
But I was so curious as to why Ruslan, and many of the kids at Pravda, just seem to seal themselves off from relationships and harden their hearts towards those who want to love them. Annie and I had a great conversation about it and she explained a lot to me.
"He has learned to close off his heart as a defense... he doesn't want to trust. This is the biggest battle we have in our ministry with these kids. Past experiences have taught them not to trust and that people are only going to cause hurt and pain in their lives. They struggle to ever form true attachments, trust people, and even to trust themselves. In the end, we are built as humans to be in relationship with others. God is a God of relationship and he has created us to function and thrive through them. Because these children struggle deeply with trust and forming relationships, it causes huge hurdles and repercussions in their lives as they grow up. It doesn't allow them to function as human beings were meant to, and that really damages their futures from the start."
It's easy to think in an abstract way of orphans being "sad" that they don't have families. But what's difficult is imagining the real consequences that these children face as a result of not developing crucial skills at a young age; skills as basic as forming relationships.
The beauty of what Open Arms is doing is not skin deep. Showing unconditional, passionate, and consistent love to the orphans of Ukraine is not just about making kids feel special (although it definitely is about that), it's also about making an effort to heal the deep woulds that have marred their hearts. It's about teaching kids like Ruslan to trust, to let people into their lives, and to love others.
It's like the saying goes,
If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.
In the case of working with orphans, this principle applies. It's wonderful to show love to these children and to make them feel special, but it's crucial to be consistent in their lives and to therefore teach them what real relationships look like. This is what Open Arms is striving to do.
I only got to spend 10 days with Ruslan, but I can see that the work of Annie, Melissa, and Anika (the Open Arms team) is doing big things in his life. Those walls that Ruslan had built up all around him are slowly breaking down.
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry:
breaking down walls
. TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://kathrynvphotography.com/darkroom/mt/mt-tb.cgi/73
All of the kids at Pravda are undeniably, ridiculously cute. But two specific boys will never fail to make your heart flutter. Truthfully, I can't remember both of their names... to me, they just immediately became Monkey & Baby.
In the above picture, Baby is on the left and Monkey on the right. These adorable little munchkins are practically attached at the hip.
Every night I would sneak up to their room to say goodnight... it was one of the many highlights of camp. It's like going to the freezer for chocolate ice cream: when you're opening the door and you feel the cool breeze rush out, you know something good is coming. As soon as they saw me, they would jump out of bed and run to me. I'd have to brace myself or they would completely knock me over.
"Спокойной ночи!"
"Good night!"
Kisses! Kisses! Kisses! They loved to just hold my neck and kiss my cheeks for as long as they could. Back to the chocolate ice cream analogy... when you're standing there eating the delicious stuff from the carton thinking, "I should probably put this away..." you then realize, "Why would I ever want to do that?!" That's just how it is with Monkey & Baby. Why would you ever want to willingly part with two of the most adorable creatures on the planet?
Finally, when I thought my neck was about to break under the grasp of their strong little arms and when I was sure my face was covered in all kinds of germs, I had to make myself tell them to get back in bed and try to sleep.
What I should have done is put them in my suitcase and bring them back home. Hindsight is 20/20.
Actually, Baby is going to be in the U.S. this summer through a host-home program. Some of these programs lead to adoption but even if they don't, they give the children a unique and special experience. But I mean, honestly, who could resist adopting this little face...
Every night I would sneak up to their room to say goodnight... it was one of the many highlights of camp. It's like going to the freezer for chocolate ice cream: when you're opening the door and you feel the cool breeze rush out, you know something good is coming. As soon as they saw me, they would jump out of bed and run to me. I'd have to brace myself or they would completely knock me over.
"Спокойной ночи!"
"Good night!"
Kisses! Kisses! Kisses! They loved to just hold my neck and kiss my cheeks for as long as they could. Back to the chocolate ice cream analogy... when you're standing there eating the delicious stuff from the carton thinking, "I should probably put this away..." you then realize, "Why would I ever want to do that?!" That's just how it is with Monkey & Baby. Why would you ever want to willingly part with two of the most adorable creatures on the planet?
Finally, when I thought my neck was about to break under the grasp of their strong little arms and when I was sure my face was covered in all kinds of germs, I had to make myself tell them to get back in bed and try to sleep.
What I should have done is put them in my suitcase and bring them back home. Hindsight is 20/20.
Actually, Baby is going to be in the U.S. this summer through a host-home program. Some of these programs lead to adoption but even if they don't, they give the children a unique and special experience. But I mean, honestly, who could resist adopting this little face...
If you or your family might be interested in a host-home program, please send me an email and I'll do my best to get information to you. There are countless, incredible, adorable children who would love to be a part of your family for a few weeks next summer!
Anonymous:
How do they end up being 2 of the most precious kids on the face of this earth! Their kisses are so like ice cream!
(07.17.09 @ 01:13 AM)
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry:
monkey & baby
. TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://kathrynvphotography.com/darkroom/mt/mt-tb.cgi/72
I wrote about Alina & Dasha in a previous post, just after visiting Pravda for the first time. These beautiful twins were among my very first friends at the orphanage - and our relationship only blossomed and grew during camp.
The two girls are in 8th grade, and have already faced more difficulty in their lives than most adults. Last year, their mother died of cancer and they were taken in by an older sister. Unfortunately, the sister was unable to provide for Alina & Dasha - and they were sent to live in the orphanage.
When camp began, it was apparent that the girls had very few friends at Pravda, simply because they were still so new. Over the next ten days, however, I was so happy to see how the group times at camp fostered relationships between the twins and those in their class. By the end of camp, Alina & Dasha were always surrounded by new friends.
I'm amazed at the resilient nature of children. I know there is so much hurt and pain resonating deep inside of the beautiful twins, but their spirits are still alive - bright and alluring. The girls share many characteristics: their gorgeous faces, their athleticism, and their soft voices that almost sound like singing... but, of course, there are so many differences between Alina & Dasha that preserve their beautiful individuality.
ALINA
Alina is definitely the quieter, more pensive of the sisters. At our first meeting, I didn't really think she wanted to talk to me. Her lips stayed pursed in a neutral line; neither a smile nor a frown. Her brow fixed in a furrow that gave her a thoughtful and almost angry expression. But she was sitting alone, and as I didn't know anyone, I figured I would give it a try.
Like a wave erasing writing in the sand, my "hello" washed away the sour expression. Alina's eyes opened and brightened while her mouth spread into a white, happy smile. To my surprise, her English was quite good, and we were able to have a basic conversation. She poured over photographs I had brought along, pointing at various people and asking, "sister? father? mother? grandmother?" She was so willing to let me in; she so clearly needed someone to care about her.
One of my favorite memories with Alina is from one day down by the river. Every day, the children get to walk to the river and swim... and swim... and swim. Alina, however, either doesn't like to swim or doesn't know how because she never got into the water. So, this one particular day at the river, I climbed out early and invited her to come lay down with me in the tall grass on my towel. We sprawled out there in the sunshine, enjoying the simple pleasure of being together. The beautiful thing about Alina is that she just wants someone by her side, to smile at her and to let her smile back.
DASHA
While both of the twins are quiet, Dasha is just slightly more approachable than Alina. When I first met her, she had a smile waiting. But I sensed the same pain in Dasha as I did in Alina, although it manifested itself just a little more subtly. As the twins began to gain more friends throughout camp, I saw Dasha's bright smile become even brighter and fuller. Some of her joy that had sunk deep inside was beginning to be drawn out.
Dasha always had that big, beautiful smile ready and waiting for me. I loved waking her up in the morning because the first thing she'd do is bring her blankets up in front of her face - and I could just see her eyes sparkle with the smile that hid behind the covers. Dasha wears her sweet spirit on her sleeve.
On my last day at Pravda, Alina gave me a letter. She had had a teacher write her words in English. "Thank you for loving those of us who do not have a family," she said. I wish Alina & Dasha knew how deeply they are loved.
The two girls are in 8th grade, and have already faced more difficulty in their lives than most adults. Last year, their mother died of cancer and they were taken in by an older sister. Unfortunately, the sister was unable to provide for Alina & Dasha - and they were sent to live in the orphanage.
When camp began, it was apparent that the girls had very few friends at Pravda, simply because they were still so new. Over the next ten days, however, I was so happy to see how the group times at camp fostered relationships between the twins and those in their class. By the end of camp, Alina & Dasha were always surrounded by new friends.
I'm amazed at the resilient nature of children. I know there is so much hurt and pain resonating deep inside of the beautiful twins, but their spirits are still alive - bright and alluring. The girls share many characteristics: their gorgeous faces, their athleticism, and their soft voices that almost sound like singing... but, of course, there are so many differences between Alina & Dasha that preserve their beautiful individuality.
ALINA
Alina is definitely the quieter, more pensive of the sisters. At our first meeting, I didn't really think she wanted to talk to me. Her lips stayed pursed in a neutral line; neither a smile nor a frown. Her brow fixed in a furrow that gave her a thoughtful and almost angry expression. But she was sitting alone, and as I didn't know anyone, I figured I would give it a try.
Like a wave erasing writing in the sand, my "hello" washed away the sour expression. Alina's eyes opened and brightened while her mouth spread into a white, happy smile. To my surprise, her English was quite good, and we were able to have a basic conversation. She poured over photographs I had brought along, pointing at various people and asking, "sister? father? mother? grandmother?" She was so willing to let me in; she so clearly needed someone to care about her.One of my favorite memories with Alina is from one day down by the river. Every day, the children get to walk to the river and swim... and swim... and swim. Alina, however, either doesn't like to swim or doesn't know how because she never got into the water. So, this one particular day at the river, I climbed out early and invited her to come lay down with me in the tall grass on my towel. We sprawled out there in the sunshine, enjoying the simple pleasure of being together. The beautiful thing about Alina is that she just wants someone by her side, to smile at her and to let her smile back.
DASHA
While both of the twins are quiet, Dasha is just slightly more approachable than Alina. When I first met her, she had a smile waiting. But I sensed the same pain in Dasha as I did in Alina, although it manifested itself just a little more subtly. As the twins began to gain more friends throughout camp, I saw Dasha's bright smile become even brighter and fuller. Some of her joy that had sunk deep inside was beginning to be drawn out.
Dasha always had that big, beautiful smile ready and waiting for me. I loved waking her up in the morning because the first thing she'd do is bring her blankets up in front of her face - and I could just see her eyes sparkle with the smile that hid behind the covers. Dasha wears her sweet spirit on her sleeve.
On my last day at Pravda, Alina gave me a letter. She had had a teacher write her words in English. "Thank you for loving those of us who do not have a family," she said. I wish Alina & Dasha knew how deeply they are loved.
Anonymous:
Those girls are ridiculously beautiful and I love that you connected with them - it was a gift in their lives.
(07.17.09 @ 01:36 AM)
Shari MacDonald Strong:
Dasha and Alina are beautiful, and they are going to be our daughters soon! I am so thankful that you were able to be their friend when they so badly needed you! What a gift in their life you are!
(06.11.10 @ 05:31 PM)
Kathryn:
thanks shari -- wow! i love seeing how beautifully the LORD answers prayer. what an incredible future these girls have ahead of them. thank you for what you're doing!
(06.12.10 @ 12:19 AM)
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry:
speaking softly
. TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://kathrynvphotography.com/darkroom/mt/mt-tb.cgi/70
Wow! I've really missed writing this week. Life has been so busy... finally today I have a little time to sit down and do the things I've been (reluctantly) putting off.
I'm working on photos from this week for the next couple of hours... and I just wanted to leave you with one until I see you again.
I'm always surprised at which photos end up being my favorites. This one from my time with Jackson & Carter wasn't even really part of our shoot. We were all done and the brothers were just relaxing on the couch... I snapped a few shots and it wasn't until I was editing that I fell in love with this special little moment.
How sweet are their little feet??
I'll be back soon!
Love to you.
I'm working on photos from this week for the next couple of hours... and I just wanted to leave you with one until I see you again.
I'm always surprised at which photos end up being my favorites. This one from my time with Jackson & Carter wasn't even really part of our shoot. We were all done and the brothers were just relaxing on the couch... I snapped a few shots and it wasn't until I was editing that I fell in love with this special little moment.
How sweet are their little feet??
I'll be back soon!
Love to you.
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry:
Back in action.
. TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://kathrynvphotography.com/darkroom/mt/mt-tb.cgi/46
This morning I met beautiful Ashlyn and her two wonderful parents, Amber & Adrian, at the park.
It was such a special time -- to see this precious little girl being loved and adored by mommy & daddy. She is really their treasure and their joy.
Ashlyn is so beautiful (and with parents like Amber & Adrian, that's not a surprise!) - and her temperament is just so sweet and serene... I enjoyed every minute with this happy little family!
It was such a special time -- to see this precious little girl being loved and adored by mommy & daddy. She is really their treasure and their joy.
Ashlyn is so beautiful (and with parents like Amber & Adrian, that's not a surprise!) - and her temperament is just so sweet and serene... I enjoyed every minute with this happy little family!
Love to you, Amber, Adrian, and Ashlyn. Thank you for inviting me to spend the morning with you!
jen sorenson:
these are amazing, of course. i think my favorite thing about your photos is how vivid the eyes always look, especially blue eyes. they just pop.
(04.05.09 @ 11:20 AM)
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry:
Pretty in Pink
. TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://kathrynvphotography.com/darkroom/mt/mt-tb.cgi/44
You said it beautifully.
(07.22.09 @ 12:39 AM)katy,
(07.22.09 @ 05:13 PM)this is amazing!!! the stories you tell . . . are breathtaking! the pictures, make me gasp! your words speak volumes!
You are so beautiful, Katy!
Today my day began with a phone talk with Ruslan :) He made sure I tell you how much he misses & loves you! I made sure to tell him it is very mutual. I am really mega happy he has opened up to us! I hope we only grow in it throughout the years to come..
(07.23.09 @ 11:10 AM)