Dear old friends and family gathered in Santa Cruz this week for Josh & Tirzah's wedding!

I grew up with Josh... and it was so special to see him marry the love of his life.  He was beaming with joy!!

And he wasn't the only one!  Tirzah was adorable with emotion.  I loved watching the new Mr. & Mrs. B.


It was so fun to spend a couple of days celebrating in the sand. 

My sister Kensey and I soaked up the time while it lasted.  I love this girl.


No party is complete without my dear friend and prize-winning poet, Sarah Louise Green.  She's fabulous.


Kensey took a few pictures of me by the water that I really love.  She just holds out the camera and clicks away, never looking through the viewfinder.  The results are beautiful and completely her own style.  I couldn't replicate it if I tried.





A perfect wedding
beautiful friends
sweet family
... and dancing to Michael Bublé in warm sand.

Wonderful time away.

I stood at the gate of Pravda Orphanage for the very first time, watching children flood out to hug Annie.  My dear friend is practically royalty at that place... the kids just love her!  None of the children knew me yet and so I stood on the outskirts of the crowd, just observing quietly.

After the first wave of children had emerged from the gate, I noticed one boy slink up quietly and just watch the other kids from the inside of the iron fence.  He was strikingly beautiful... the way boys can be beautiful.  His eyes were piercing: deep brown under thick, sharp eyebrows.  His jaw was set in a strong line, framing his face in perfect angles.  His gaze caught mine but when I smiled, his frown deepened and he looked away.



"That is Ruslan,"  Annie said to me under her breath, "he doesn't let people in too easily."

"Apparently not,"  I thought, my eyes still transfixed in his direction.

Fast forward a couple of weeks to the first day of camp.  I was assigned to be one of the counselors to the seventh and eighth grade classes - including beautiful Ruslan.  I hoped that maybe the fact that he was in my group would make him automatically like me.  No such luck.  For the first two to three days of camp, I couldn't even get Ruslan to look me in the eyes.

Finally, on the fourth morning I had had enough.  I desperately wanted to get to know Ruslan, and for him to be freed from the walls he had built up around himself.  It was eight o'clock, time to wake the kids up for the day.  I walked in to my boys' room and woke Ruslan up first with a kiss on the forehead.  He sleepily opened his eyes and I smiled, "Good morning, Ruslan."  Before he had a chance to choose to ignore me or smile back, I moved on to the next bed, waking the children up one by one.

Later that day at our group meeting, I caught Ruslan's gaze... and he smiled.  Somehow, he was beginning to let me in.

Throughout the rest of camp, I made a very conscious effort to show consistent attention and love to Ruslan - and we continued to bond, to laugh, and smile together.

But I was so curious as to why Ruslan, and many of the kids at Pravda, just seem to seal themselves off from relationships and harden their hearts towards those who want to love them.  Annie and I had a great conversation about it and she explained a lot to me.

"He has learned to close off his heart as a defense... he doesn't want to trust.  This is the biggest battle we have in our ministry with these kids.  Past experiences have taught them not to trust and that people are only going to cause hurt and pain in their lives.  They struggle to ever form true attachments, trust people, and even to trust themselves.  In the end, we are built as humans to be in relationship with others.  God is a God of relationship and he has created us to function and thrive through them.  Because these children struggle deeply with trust and forming relationships, it causes huge hurdles and repercussions in their lives as they grow up.  It doesn't allow them to function as human beings were meant to, and that really damages their futures from the start."

It's easy to think in an abstract way of orphans being "sad" that they don't have families.  But what's difficult is imagining the real consequences that these children face as a result of not developing crucial skills at a young age; skills as basic as forming relationships. 

The beauty of what Open Arms is doing is not skin deep.  Showing unconditional, passionate, and consistent love to the orphans of Ukraine is not just about making kids feel special (although it definitely is about that), it's also about making an effort to heal the deep woulds that have marred their hearts.  It's about teaching kids like Ruslan to trust, to let people into their lives, and to love others. 

It's like the saying goes,

If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

In the case of working with orphans, this principle applies.  It's wonderful to show love to these children and to make them feel special, but it's crucial to be consistent in their lives and to therefore teach them what real relationships look like.  This is what Open Arms is striving to do.

I only got to spend 10 days with Ruslan, but I can see that the work of Annie, Melissa, and Anika (the Open Arms team) is doing big things in his life.  Those walls that Ruslan had built up all around him are slowly breaking down.

    

All of the kids at Pravda are undeniably, ridiculously cute.  But two specific boys will never fail to make your heart flutter.  Truthfully, I can't remember both of their names... to me, they just immediately became Monkey & Baby. 

I wrote about Alina & Dasha in a previous post, just after visiting Pravda for the first time.  These beautiful twins were among my very first friends at the orphanage - and our relationship only blossomed and grew during camp.

The two girls are in 8th grade, and have already faced more difficulty in their lives than most adults.  Last year, their mother died of cancer and they were taken in by an older sister.  Unfortunately, the sister was unable to provide for Alina & Dasha - and they were sent to live in the orphanage.

When camp began, it was apparent that the girls had very few friends at Pravda, simply because they were still so new.  Over the next ten days, however, I was so happy to see how the group times at camp fostered relationships between the twins and those in their class.  By the end of camp, Alina & Dasha were always surrounded by new friends.

I'm amazed at the resilient nature of children.  I know there is so much hurt and pain resonating deep inside of the beautiful twins, but their spirits are still alive - bright and alluring.  The girls share many characteristics: their gorgeous faces, their athleticism, and their soft voices that almost sound like singing... but, of course, there are so many differences between Alina & Dasha that preserve their beautiful individuality.

ALINA

Alina is definitely the quieter, more pensive of the sisters.  At our first meeting, I didn't really think she wanted to talk to me.  Her lips stayed pursed in a neutral line; neither a smile nor a frown.  Her brow fixed in a furrow that gave her a thoughtful and almost angry expression.  But she was sitting alone, and as I didn't know anyone, I figured I would give it a try.
Like a wave erasing writing in the sand, my "hello" washed away the sour expression.  Alina's eyes opened and brightened while her mouth spread into a white, happy smile.  To my surprise, her English was quite good, and we were able to have a basic conversation.  She poured over photographs I had brought along, pointing at various people and asking, "sister? father? mother? grandmother?"  She was so willing to let me in; she so clearly needed someone to care about her.

One of my favorite memories with Alina is from one day down by the river.  Every day, the children get to walk to the river and swim... and swim... and swim.  Alina, however, either doesn't like to swim or doesn't know how because she never got into the water.  So, this one particular day at the river, I climbed out early and invited her to come lay down with me in the tall grass on my towel.  We sprawled out there in the sunshine, enjoying the simple pleasure of being together.  The beautiful thing about Alina is that she just wants someone by her side, to smile at her and to let her smile back.



DASHA

While both of the twins are quiet, Dasha is just slightly more approachable than Alina.  When I first met her, she had a smile waiting.  But I sensed the same pain in Dasha as I did in Alina, although it manifested itself just a little more subtly.  As the twins began to gain more friends throughout camp, I saw Dasha's bright smile become even brighter and fuller.  Some of her joy that had sunk deep inside was beginning to be drawn out.

 

I rarely cry. 

Don't get me wrong, I am an emotional person; often moved by music, literature, and movies.  That choked-up, lip-quivering feeling comes regularly.  But the tears - those are rare.

A month ago today, however, the tears came.  And they came with all the stored-up strength of a hundred times I should have cried and didn't.

I wasn't watching a movie or reading a book - I was sitting on the second floor of Pravda Orphanage, saying goodbye to a group of children I had grown to love deeply.  These beautiful boys and girls had become my whole world over the course of a ten-day camp... and now I was kissing them goodnight for the last time.

I want to take time to share with you the names and faces of each of these special children.  I want to take my time, because every one of them deserves individual attention.  Benefit from their stories and their smiles.  Let them motivate you to love the abandoned, fatherless children who live and breathe all over the face of our planet.


YUROSLAV

To see Yuroslav in a crowd, you wouldn't necessarily pick him out as being anything especially interesting.  But the truth is that he is extraordinary.  Absolutely.  He is tall and skinny, with those amazing little bony ankles that look perfect in tennis shoes.  His strawberry-blond hair blends with his soft, freckled skin.  His sweet eyes blink from behind invisible eyelashes.  His teeth are slightly spaced apart inside of his beautifully infectious smile - and your heart will sing when he laughs.  

The first night that I hung out with Yuroslav was when he took me to his room to meet the pigeon he'd rescued.  He has an incredible gift with animals - they trust him.  This gift of Yuroslav's is a faint whisper, hinting at the beautiful heart that rests inside of him.  His compassion and tenderness extends to those who are hurting and who feel alone.